ridin the waves.

i have completely neglected this blog. now that the semester is winding down i figure i owe everyone an update.

first of all, getting an application status update after being invited=scary. that excited feeling no longer accompanies those 5 a.m. emails. my application status update let me know that i have a dental hold. apparently my dental clearance is only good until march 5th & i'm supposed to leave march 9th (actually the OMS letter said march 8th, but i'm trying not to get too hung up on the discrepancy). so now i am just waiting on obama's health reform to put me back on mommy and daddy's insurance. blue cross blue shield says that will be jan. 1. cutting it close? maybe, but i def. can't afford those dental x-rays on my part-time retail paycheck =)

in other news, i filled out & sent my visa application along with my passport. i never heard whether they got that or not. i probs should put that on my list of things to check on. i read everything included in that blue invitation kit & i also started learning russian. i'm pretty sure that's how the nightmares started. in the latest nightmare i landed in almaty alone with just my sister's kitten. i couldn't find my bags & i was wandering around in the freezing cold. there were people inside stores, but i couldn't go in & ask for directions because i had the cat. i was worried the whole time about mr. bingley (that's our cat) freezing his little white tail off. i finally found my bag, but it was almost completely empty. i went to tell the baggage claim people, but i didn't know how to say anything but cat in russian. [that is actually true. for some reason cat is the only word that is sticking with me. & apples. which is good because i am allergic to apples and kazakhstan is the birthplace of apples.]

so i think all the nightmares attributed to the fact that last week i woke up & couldn't help but think "what the heck are you doing?" i spent the entire week trying to put my finger on what it was that had originally drawn me to PC. i applied for PC when i was in my last semester of college. the plan had been to go after graduation, get back by the time i was 23 & then start doing more grown-up things. i am now 23. my application was put on hold, and then i withdrew it for the master's international program, & now i am 23 and leaving for PC. & when i get back i will be 26 and doing all sorts of 21-23 year old things. one of the major changes for me was coming home and falling in love all over again with my ex-bf. and now i am leaving him for 27 months when i know that if i stayed i would be getting married in the next 27 months instead. that's a big thing that i have admitted to very few people.

so i was feeling very blue about the whole PC thing. i know for a fact that celebrating thanksgiving and realizing it would be last with family for a while played a direct role in my second-guessing. i read & re-read my favorite PC blogs. normally they get me excited, but for some reason it wasn't working. so i decided to go shopping. shopping is my cure-all. i was rummagging through the jewelry at the thrift store while my sister was checking out when i saw this keychain:



anyone who knows me knows that i love all things pink, artsy, & with a hippy flare. i immediately grabbed it & hurried to give it to my sister before she finished checking out. you will never believe what was on the back:



that's right. that there is the kazakhstan flag with kazakhstan written above it. almost instantly i felt like sobbing and laughing. & i have been back on the PC bandwagon since. for those of you that are now questioning my sanity or desire to actually go overseas: 27 months is a loooong time. kazakhstan is coooooold. and the insane thing would be not to think seriously about this decision before i leave my loved ones behind.

on that note... enjoying the high,